I don’t know about you, but sometimes I have equestrian nightmares that I wake up from that get me seriously agitated and panicked about. Of course, its just a dream but hot damn do they feel real!
This past weekend I had a crazy dressage show dream, which now thinking about it was pretty ridiculous, but at the time seemed like the world was coming to an end. Perhaps it was because I was talking to Nicole about dressage showing plans and it was on my mind before heading to bed. Anyways, buckle up, my dear readers and I’ll tell you my story…
I was at dressage show and was running late getting there and subsequently running late getting tacked up and warmed up. The stewards at the show office at first couldn’t find my entry form and directed me all over the place before I found which ring I would be showing in.
Flash forward and I’m tacked up and on my horse, which wasn’t Spot, but a big chestnut. Because of all the previous crap, I was entering the warm up ring about 10 minutes before my ride time. I proceeded to do the fastest warm up ever, but then I realized my girth was super loose and no one would help me tighten it so I had to jump down and tighten. Then I realized there was no mounting block around and this chestnut I was riding was suddenly 17.2. I finally managed to clamber back on when someone then pointed out that I couldn’t have red polos on for my test and that the red polo I was wearing clashed horrendously with my chestnut. I looked down and was like “Why did I put on a red polo? and WHEN THE FUCK DID I PUT THESE HORRENDOUS RED POLOS ON?!?”
So again, I jumped down again and stripped giant chestnut of the red polos and somehow scrambled back on horse. At this point, I had like 2 minutes before they called me into the ring, and of course I then realize I hadn’t memorized my test. At this point, I’m literally about to dissolve into a pile of tears and mush when I see a local trainer I know (but absolutely detest) and ask him if he could read me my test. He says yes (surprisingly) and I troop off into the ring down the centerline. However, asshole trainer then just speed reads through the whole test while I’m halting at X and says “ok, I read your test for you , bye!”. I am completely mortified and embarrassed as I only remember the first 2-3 elements and spend the rest of the time aimlessly doing what I think is next on the test before I am
laughed belled out.
I woke up feeling completely mortified and kind of a nervous wreck. I woke up Andy and blubbered to him about my horrendous dream, which he then proceeded to sleepily assure me that my 1st show with Spot would be fine. Then he rolled over to go back to sleep and muttered “crazy horse lady”
So there’s my Nightmare from the Sandbox. What about you guys? Have you had any crazy horsie nightmares?